Against the Rules
by Lady Shadiait
Summary: True friends stay friends, no matter how far one may fall.... A oneshot with a stupid summary.


A friend suggested to me, that with all my angel stories, I should write a piece about Gabriel from 'Constantine'. This is partly based on a incredably weird dream I had once. This is also **NOT **a love story! Jean is Gabriel's friend, and studied under him, angels don't fall in love. The same friend has also told me I was more than a little too generous to Gabriel, but I'll let you figure that out for yourself.

The reason Jean's title is 'One of Mercy' is that Jean is an old name meaning literally 'God's Mercy'.

I own Jean, but I don't own Gabriel, in this depiction he belongs to Virtigo comics, and to Warner Bros.

Please enjoy, and review.

* * *

I walked the darkened city streets fearlessly. I was far more powerful than anything lurking in these shadows. At one point, three men started to follow me. It only took one sharp glare for them to realize my true nature and go hurrying the other way. I continued towards my destination. 

He had recently found himself a basement room in a deserted building, in a section of the city best described as 'God-forsaken'. He had hidden himself away there; no reports of his leaving in weeks had reached me. He must have felt that it was somewhere he could be alone with his grief.

I descended into the dark basement. Outside at least held the grimy light of what street lamps were still working, as well as what moonlight managed to penetrate the dense clouds, here was almost total blackness.

I continued, with careful steps, across the cement floor. I moved silently, though I knew he would have sensed my presence without seeing or hearing me. I also knew he would not acknowledge me.

A faint light came through the remnants of what had once been a window. He was opposite me, on the other side of light which broke the darkness surrounding us. I stopped before I crossed it, allowing it to form a sort of wall between us. I could almost see him; he had his back to me, ignoring my presence. I had to speak first….

"Gabriel?"

"Jean," he acknowledged me in a curt and dismissive tone. I also heard the hurt residing underneath his sharp voice, then, "You should not be here." I knew the true meaning was, 'leave me alone'. There had been a day I would not have dared refuse one of his orders, but I was not inclined in the slightest to listen to him right now.

"Gabriel," I half-whispered, "I'm so sorry." My worlds were followed by a silence that seemed thick and heavy. Gabriel was my mentor and my friend, his grief and pain tortured me as though they were my own.

"One of Mercy," Gabriel said, addressing me by my old title, I sensed he was looking at me over his shoulder, lowering his head rather than turning it, "Why do you come to me? The Father cannot have sent you in His forgiveness."

"I have come of my own accord," I expressed, "The mercy I offer is my own, be it in His name or not."

Gabriel turned to face me, though he was still so heavily cloaked in the shadows I could not see much more than his outline. "You should be more careful," he preached solemnly, "You will share my fate for such words."

Why Gabriel was talking so formally was beyond me. I had no ready reply to his statement, so I just said the first things to come to me, "I came to see a friend, to whom I feel mercy is due."

"Come to stare?" he demanded sharply, "Or come to say good-bye?"

"Neither," I protested, "I have come to tell you that you are my friend, Gabriel, and that you always will be."

A brief pause followed. Neither of us spoke, neither moved. Then, slowly, Gabriel stepped into the light separating us. I couldn't help but gasp slightly. But, rather than pull back, I stepped forward as well, I felt the light touch my skin and wings. I looked up, somehow managing to meet his eyes. The same face- the same eyes…or were they? Those green eyes had once been strong and confident, though never proud, and no matter how cold, always possessed some spark of compassion. Now all they held only grief, pain, and sorrow, they seemed to ask me, 'will you still consider me a friend now?'

I knew I reminded him of all that he had lost. I also knew that I was partly responsible. I had witnessed Gabriel changing during his years on Earth. I had chosen instead to blind myself to the changes, choosing to believe he was still who he had been before. Had I instead admitted he was changing, and made some motion to help him, maybe…maybe his fate could have been changed. I felt guilt tearing at me inside.

I extended one hand to him, in a gesture of both apology and forgiveness. Gabriel stared at me strangely for a moment, then his shoulders began to tremble as the tears forced their way to the surface. Tears probably long repressed, Gabriel was not the kind to cry. I watched as his legs gave way beneath him and he collapsed to his knees, body shaking with sobs. Slowly I knelt beside him; I took his left hand with my right, linking my fingers through his, clasping it gently. My left hand came to rest on his shoulder in an effort to comfort him. I felt him squeeze my hand.

His bowed head lifted, his eyes met mine for a moment, tears tracing abstract patterns down his cheeks. I released his shoulder and moving to run my fingers through his blonde curls. He jerked his head away from my touch.

I maneuvered myself a little closer, and wrapped my mobile arm around him, drawing him into a silent embrace; my right hand never relinquished his left, he clutched my hand desperately. Gabriel didn't resist me, but rather laid his head on my shoulder and continued to weep. With my free hand, I massaged the stumps at his shoulders, where his wings had once been. I felt him manage to grasp one of my wings, running his fingers gently, almost tenderly, through my feathers. I rested my cheek against the crown of his head, listening to his soft sobs, and fighting back my own tears.

How long Gabriel cried in my arms I don't know. Eventually, the tears slowed, ceased, and he pulled away form me. However, he didn't let my hand go.

I sought, in vain, for words to say to him. Some comfort, some reassurance to offer him. Instead I leaned forward and briefly pressed my lips to hisforehead in a tender kiss he did not need to return in any form. This conveyed the most, perhaps the only, important message I brought tonight- I forgive you.

I loosened my fingers, and my hand slipped from his grasp. I rose to my feet, Gabriel did not move, save wrapping his arms around himself as if in effort to protect himself from the cold. I offered him both my hands to help him to his feet. For a second, he started at me in disbelief, then released his self-embrace and took my hands gratefully. He squeezed my hands in thanks before releasing them.

I retreated a pace,leaving him standing alone, illuminated in the dingy light. I could see the emotion written in his eyes—_please—please don't leave me!_ I had turned and begun to walk away, brushing tears from my eyes, when I heard Gabriel calling after me, "Jean!"

I turned back, "yes?'

"Pray for me?"

I forced myself to smile, pushing back the tears I felt burning in my eyes, I managed a nod. "Of…of course, Gabriel."

I was about to leave, when he reached out one arm, as if to hold me back. I paused; he lowered his arm, shook his head, and stepped out of the light, melting soundlessly back into the darkness. "I'll come see you again, Gabriel," I promised.

I walked calmly out of the room and up the stairs. Once I felt confident he couldn't see me, I broke into a desperate run, allowing the tears to stream down my face. Once the tears had subsided, I had no idea where I was, not that I cared. I rubbed my face, brushed the tears from my eyes. Then I brought my shoulders back and lifted my head confidently. And I vanished into the night.


End file.
